By Heidi Muller
The damsel in distress is trapped in the tower of the evil emperor's castle. Her only hope for survival is the prince, her knight in shining armor who will climb up the tower to rescue his princess and carry her off into the sunset. And drum roll, please here he comes, gallivanting his way to the castle. He jumps over the moat, climbs the tower, lifts her up over his shoulder, and props her onto the horse. He slays the dragon and the happy couple are whisked away into the glimmering night sky.
Nowhere in this fairytale did the princess say, "I can get onto the horse myself, thank you very much," nor did the knight say "Hey baby, let's go back to my place and have some fun."
once upon time...
This fairytale analogy isn't intended to be nostalgic, it's meant to point out the difference between the old-fashioned days of chivalry, and how it has evolved today.
I recently posed the question, "Is chivalry dead?" and received an overwhelming amount of responses on the topic. Everything from "chivalry is alive and kicking" to "it's alive but on life support," was mentioned. Whatever the case, it's evident that the chivalry of today exists in a different form.
Let's take a look at how chivalry has changed, how it affects dating today, and what this means to us.
good knight
Chivalry used to connote the characteristics of knighthood. It meant being courteous to women and being gallant. But in the days of Destiny's Child crooning about Independent Women , and women believing that they can live without men, it's hard for guys to realize that ladies do want to be treated like princesses.
And I don't blame men for thinking that women want to be treated like strong, independent people, because they are. Men are faced with a double standard where they know women want to be swept off their feet, and want and expect men to make the first move, but at the same time, they preach that they are strong and can be single for the rest of their lives.
What men don't understand is that women want to be treated well, and want to be placed up on a pedestal. This treatment does not lessen their strength or independence, but it's up to women to show that they want this treatment.
no, after you
This brings me to an important point about chivalry. It was mostly men who responded and offered insight on this topic. Many men have stated that although they believe in chivalry, they feel they are making futile attempts at being courteous when their actions go unnoticed and unappreciated by females.
On one hand you have a woman who waits for the man to walk ahead of her and open the door, while on the other you have the gentleman who does open the door for her, only to have his date shout at him that she doesn't need his help.
Do women really want you to be chivalrous or better yet, is she worth it?
the times are a changin'
While I mentioned that women dream of the days of old-fashioned movies where a kiss was enough to extinguish lust, the man would lift his loved one up the winding staircase and help his lady put on her coat. Women, however, must understand that they can't have their cake and eat it too.
The women depicted in these films were also forced to stay at home and tend to the house and children, proving that the times are just plain different in every respect.
Don't get me wrong, I'm a sucker for old-fashioned romance and chivalry; it just goes to show that the concept of chivalry has changed with the times. Chivalry now means being kind and courteous to anyone, regardless of if we are romantically interested in them or not. This means helping the older woman carry her groceries to her car, or even simple things such as saying "Bless you" when someone sneezes.
Unfortunately, kindness to strangers has become a rarity, with people slamming doors in people's faces, and pushing in line at the checkout counter -- and both men and women are guilty of this. Because common courtesy doesn't exist as much anymore, it makes us suspicious when we do receive kind gestures from others, and we assume kindness is part of someone's ulterior motives.
where has chivalry gone?
At the risk of sounding like a sociology textbook, let's take a look at why the presence of chivalry may have disintegrated today:
1. Technology
Technology seems to be the scapegoat of all our problems, but it helps to explain why we seem to be in our own little bubble on a daily basis. The days of personal letters (scented with your lover's perfume) are long gone, and rather than step foot into our neighbor's cubicle at work, we send an e-mail to ask a simple "How do you do?" The smaller the world becomes and the easier it is to communicate, the less we reach out to others personally and the more we tend to want to stick to ourselves.
2. Self-centered attitudes
I don't want to sound jaded and cynical about mankind, but society has become more self-absorbed and self-centered, especially when it comes to strangers.
is she worth it?
A common fallacy among men and women is that chivalry is one-sided, which means that a woman can also take the initiative and do something chivalrous for her man, especially since the times have changed. You want to put yourself out for a woman who is worthy of such royal treatment, since this says a lot about her personality.
The problem is that it's hard to tell whether or not the woman you are stressing over deserves your efforts of chivalry. Here's how to tell if your lady can also be a gentle wo man:
- If you open the car door for her and she unlocks your door once she's inside.
- She offers to split the bill at the fancy restaurant you went to for dinner (or even better, she pays for it once in a while -- if she doesn't pay for it, she pays for your movie ticket after dinner).
- She surprises you with that CD you've been talking about or sends you flowers at work.
- She brings you over chicken soup when you're feeling under the weather.
- She shows how appreciative she is of your actions and recognizes how lucky she is.
Chivalry isn't about getting things in return, it's about being recognized to a degree for your actions and knowing that the person you are with will also treat you right. Chivalry is a two-way street, in which you shouldn't be taken for a ride.
happily ever after...
So what's the solution to all of this? As chivalry now means being kind to everyone, the best thing to do is just be yourself. Act normal, and don't try to be too chivalrous or the woman you're pining over will see right through your act. The truth is, if she isn't appreciative, then she's probably not someone you'll want to invest your time in. If you like her, then you will automatically put her on a pedestal without realizing it.
And once she's on that pedestal as high as the castle tower -- where you are the only one to rescue her -- she will look out for the knight in shining armor in you.
From http://www.askmen.com/dating/heidi/32_dating_girl.html &
http://www.askmen.com/dating/heidi/32b_dating_girl.html
Wednesday, October 28, 2009
Etiquette Of A Gentleman: Part 3
By Edward Chalmers
"People, like diamonds, have a basic market value, but it is only after they have been polished that the world will pay their real value."
- William Thourlby
Part I and Part II of the "Etiquette Of A Gentleman" series outlined how important good manners and gentlemanly behavior are to your professional image and social life.
Whatever the business or personal situation, your most valuable commodity is yourself. Practice all your best marketing techniques to attract interest and create a positive and lasting impression.
Here are some additional tips on how to gain a competitive edge by using etiquette to demonstrate that you are a true gentleman.
Courtesy & Consideration
Don't "kiss and tell"
Discretion, honor and integrity are of paramount importance in developing and maintaining your reputation as a gentleman. Details of your love life should remain private. Similarly, if a colleague has too much to drink at a party, be discreet. Never break a confidence and don't participate in unkind gossip.
Interrupt politely
Etiquette dictates that you should never interrupt, but that's not always practical. Interjecting your comments while someone else is speaking is definitely impolite, unless there is an emergency, or other good and valid reason. If you must interrupt or leave a conversational group, be sure to say, "excuse me" or "I beg your pardon." Being polite means treating other people's situations, opinions and feelings with respect.
Be prudently punctual
It's important to be respectful of people's time. Arrive on time for meetings, business functions and social events. If a meeting is dragging on later in the day than planned, a gent will ask if there are any time conflicts. A true gentleman also recognizes when it's time to leave a party.
Suave Communication
Practice good etiquette
Being courteous and respectful extends to how you handle your oral and written communications. Letters and voicemail messages should show that you are well-mannered and professional. In addition, practice e-mail Netiquette and cell phone etiquette.
Be a gracious guest
Thank the host at a social or business function. At a company party, always seek out and thank the most senior management in attendance, plus your own boss and the party organizers.
Remember to thank others and be PC...
Thank others
Send handwritten thank-you notes for any gifts you receive, whether they are from suppliers or clients, or even your great-aunt Martha. Thank your server at lunch, the doorman at your building and your colleague who brings in donuts. Recognizing other people's thoughtfulness demonstrates your good breeding.
Don't be politically incorrect
The difference between a gentleman and a boor is class. Show you have it. Avoid off-color jokes and gossip. A few cheap laughs at someone else's expense will tarnish your image, both socially and professionally.
Practice small talk
Whether you're at a wedding reception or business conference, how you make conversation will boost the impression of your refinement. Charming conversationalists mentally rehearse small talk on a variety of topics, avoiding religion, politics and sex. A gentleman listens attentively, making eye contact, showing interest and graciously drawing other people into a conversation.
Gallantry
Carry a handkerchief
Plan ahead. Have a clean handkerchief in your pocket, especially when you attend a funeral. It's also a great idea to have a hanky handy for a lady friend to dry raindrops or tears.
Share your umbrella
It's very gallant to offer your umbrella to a lady. On a chilly evening or if the air conditioning is high, your wife or date might appreciate the loan of your suit jacket and others will notice your thoughtfulness. However, this gesture may be viewed as patronizing in a business setting, so don't do it for a female colleague unless hypothermia is imminent.
Cough thoughtfully
If you're overcome by a fit of coughing or sneezing, excuse yourself and leave the meeting or dinner table for a few minutes. Return quietly and apologize again as you take your seat.
Pay the bill discreetly
When you invite someone for lunch or dinner, accept the bill discreetly and without fanfare. When you're the guest, you may offer to pay your share or to buy the wine but it is ungentlemanly to argue about who will pay the tab.
Maintain your social skills and be chivalrous with women...
Civility & Social Skills
Maintain eye contact
At a party, maintain eye contact with whomever you are speaking with. You may be the most well-mannered man, but if someone feels you're scanning the room for someone more important to talk to, your image will be shattered.
Make introductions
Show your good manners when introducing people by telling them more than each other's names. "Hal, I'd like you to meet Phil Brown, he's a pilot with Delta. Phil, this is Hal Black. He recently returned from the Gulf with the military." Many people have difficulty remembering names, and will appreciate your thoughtful manners if you say "George, you remember Alan, don't you?"
Engage people
Be gracious. Make conversation with those on the sidelines, particularly at business functions. Your good breeding and kindness will be remembered. Invite people to become involved, whether it's in a group discussion at a conference, a baseball game at the company picnic or a conga line at a wedding reception.
Follow the host's lead
At a business dinner or dinner party, don't sit until your host does, and don't begin eating until they have lifted their fork. Wait to drink your wine until your host proposes a toast or takes a sip. Do not smoke until everyone has finished, and then only smoke if it is clearly permitted and once you have asked permission of your tablemates.
Table Manners
Never speak with food in your mouth
No one wants to see what you're chewing or listen to you talk with a mouthful of food. If you're asked something and your mouth is full, signal your apologies and, if your dining partners are refined, they will patiently wait until you're able to reply. Unless there's a valid reason to wolf down your food and bolt from the table, eat slowly and converse with your tablemates.
Don't reach across someone
When dining with others, don't reach over; politely ask someone to pass the bread. When they do, take the tray or basket and offer the passer a piece of bread before taking one. If the bread is in front of you, pass it to the person beside you and, if they are knowledgeable about good etiquette, they will offer it to you before taking their own.
Put down your knife
Unless you're expecting an attack from a pack of marauding wild animals, put down your knife after cutting your food and before eating it. It demonstrates good table manners, slows down the process of eating and allows you more time to showcase your talents as a scintillating conversationalist.
Women & Chivalry
Open the door
In a business context, opening the door for women can be a contentious issue, so don't make it too obvious. If there are men and women in the group, hold the door for everyone. In a social context, a gentleman will always hold the door for a lady. In addition, go around to open the car door and wait there until she is seated.
Retrieve dropped items
When someone drops something, pick it up and hand it back, whether it's a glove, a file folder or a twenty-dollar bill. Make sure you bend at the knees, not from the waist.
Walk beside a lady on the stairs
Never walk behind a woman on the stairway, especially if she's wearing a miniskirt. Walk beside her or slightly ahead of her on the stairs. When exiting a subway station in a crush of people, a gentleman will avert his eyes from the thighs ahead of him. The same principle applies if you are walking on the streets; don't follow any woman you don't know too closely.
Walk on the outside of a sidewalk
This allows your lady to be farther from the traffic. This way, if someone is going to be splashed, it will be you, not her. I know, I know... but that's the price to pay if you want to be a gentleman.
uncommon courtesy
As author John Bridges says, being a gentleman requires "a little logic, a bit of forethought and a great deal of consideration for others."
Incorporate these tips, and the ones in Part I and Part II, into your daily routine. Think of it as a personal marketing program to showcase your finest features. Polish your professional and social image, and become recognized and remembered for being a chivalrous, gallant and refined gentleman.
Resources:
How to be a Gentleman , John Bridges
From http://www.askmen.com/money/successful_100/117_success.html;
http://www.askmen.com/money/successful_100/117b_success.html &
http://www.askmen.com/money/successful_100/117c_success.html
"People, like diamonds, have a basic market value, but it is only after they have been polished that the world will pay their real value."
- William Thourlby
Part I and Part II of the "Etiquette Of A Gentleman" series outlined how important good manners and gentlemanly behavior are to your professional image and social life.
Whatever the business or personal situation, your most valuable commodity is yourself. Practice all your best marketing techniques to attract interest and create a positive and lasting impression.
Here are some additional tips on how to gain a competitive edge by using etiquette to demonstrate that you are a true gentleman.
Courtesy & Consideration
Don't "kiss and tell"
Discretion, honor and integrity are of paramount importance in developing and maintaining your reputation as a gentleman. Details of your love life should remain private. Similarly, if a colleague has too much to drink at a party, be discreet. Never break a confidence and don't participate in unkind gossip.
Interrupt politely
Etiquette dictates that you should never interrupt, but that's not always practical. Interjecting your comments while someone else is speaking is definitely impolite, unless there is an emergency, or other good and valid reason. If you must interrupt or leave a conversational group, be sure to say, "excuse me" or "I beg your pardon." Being polite means treating other people's situations, opinions and feelings with respect.
Be prudently punctual
It's important to be respectful of people's time. Arrive on time for meetings, business functions and social events. If a meeting is dragging on later in the day than planned, a gent will ask if there are any time conflicts. A true gentleman also recognizes when it's time to leave a party.
Suave Communication
Practice good etiquette
Being courteous and respectful extends to how you handle your oral and written communications. Letters and voicemail messages should show that you are well-mannered and professional. In addition, practice e-mail Netiquette and cell phone etiquette.
Be a gracious guest
Thank the host at a social or business function. At a company party, always seek out and thank the most senior management in attendance, plus your own boss and the party organizers.
Remember to thank others and be PC...
Thank others
Send handwritten thank-you notes for any gifts you receive, whether they are from suppliers or clients, or even your great-aunt Martha. Thank your server at lunch, the doorman at your building and your colleague who brings in donuts. Recognizing other people's thoughtfulness demonstrates your good breeding.
Don't be politically incorrect
The difference between a gentleman and a boor is class. Show you have it. Avoid off-color jokes and gossip. A few cheap laughs at someone else's expense will tarnish your image, both socially and professionally.
Practice small talk
Whether you're at a wedding reception or business conference, how you make conversation will boost the impression of your refinement. Charming conversationalists mentally rehearse small talk on a variety of topics, avoiding religion, politics and sex. A gentleman listens attentively, making eye contact, showing interest and graciously drawing other people into a conversation.
Gallantry
Carry a handkerchief
Plan ahead. Have a clean handkerchief in your pocket, especially when you attend a funeral. It's also a great idea to have a hanky handy for a lady friend to dry raindrops or tears.
Share your umbrella
It's very gallant to offer your umbrella to a lady. On a chilly evening or if the air conditioning is high, your wife or date might appreciate the loan of your suit jacket and others will notice your thoughtfulness. However, this gesture may be viewed as patronizing in a business setting, so don't do it for a female colleague unless hypothermia is imminent.
Cough thoughtfully
If you're overcome by a fit of coughing or sneezing, excuse yourself and leave the meeting or dinner table for a few minutes. Return quietly and apologize again as you take your seat.
Pay the bill discreetly
When you invite someone for lunch or dinner, accept the bill discreetly and without fanfare. When you're the guest, you may offer to pay your share or to buy the wine but it is ungentlemanly to argue about who will pay the tab.
Maintain your social skills and be chivalrous with women...
Civility & Social Skills
Maintain eye contact
At a party, maintain eye contact with whomever you are speaking with. You may be the most well-mannered man, but if someone feels you're scanning the room for someone more important to talk to, your image will be shattered.
Make introductions
Show your good manners when introducing people by telling them more than each other's names. "Hal, I'd like you to meet Phil Brown, he's a pilot with Delta. Phil, this is Hal Black. He recently returned from the Gulf with the military." Many people have difficulty remembering names, and will appreciate your thoughtful manners if you say "George, you remember Alan, don't you?"
Engage people
Be gracious. Make conversation with those on the sidelines, particularly at business functions. Your good breeding and kindness will be remembered. Invite people to become involved, whether it's in a group discussion at a conference, a baseball game at the company picnic or a conga line at a wedding reception.
Follow the host's lead
At a business dinner or dinner party, don't sit until your host does, and don't begin eating until they have lifted their fork. Wait to drink your wine until your host proposes a toast or takes a sip. Do not smoke until everyone has finished, and then only smoke if it is clearly permitted and once you have asked permission of your tablemates.
Table Manners
Never speak with food in your mouth
No one wants to see what you're chewing or listen to you talk with a mouthful of food. If you're asked something and your mouth is full, signal your apologies and, if your dining partners are refined, they will patiently wait until you're able to reply. Unless there's a valid reason to wolf down your food and bolt from the table, eat slowly and converse with your tablemates.
Don't reach across someone
When dining with others, don't reach over; politely ask someone to pass the bread. When they do, take the tray or basket and offer the passer a piece of bread before taking one. If the bread is in front of you, pass it to the person beside you and, if they are knowledgeable about good etiquette, they will offer it to you before taking their own.
Put down your knife
Unless you're expecting an attack from a pack of marauding wild animals, put down your knife after cutting your food and before eating it. It demonstrates good table manners, slows down the process of eating and allows you more time to showcase your talents as a scintillating conversationalist.
Women & Chivalry
Open the door
In a business context, opening the door for women can be a contentious issue, so don't make it too obvious. If there are men and women in the group, hold the door for everyone. In a social context, a gentleman will always hold the door for a lady. In addition, go around to open the car door and wait there until she is seated.
Retrieve dropped items
When someone drops something, pick it up and hand it back, whether it's a glove, a file folder or a twenty-dollar bill. Make sure you bend at the knees, not from the waist.
Walk beside a lady on the stairs
Never walk behind a woman on the stairway, especially if she's wearing a miniskirt. Walk beside her or slightly ahead of her on the stairs. When exiting a subway station in a crush of people, a gentleman will avert his eyes from the thighs ahead of him. The same principle applies if you are walking on the streets; don't follow any woman you don't know too closely.
Walk on the outside of a sidewalk
This allows your lady to be farther from the traffic. This way, if someone is going to be splashed, it will be you, not her. I know, I know... but that's the price to pay if you want to be a gentleman.
uncommon courtesy
As author John Bridges says, being a gentleman requires "a little logic, a bit of forethought and a great deal of consideration for others."
Incorporate these tips, and the ones in Part I and Part II, into your daily routine. Think of it as a personal marketing program to showcase your finest features. Polish your professional and social image, and become recognized and remembered for being a chivalrous, gallant and refined gentleman.
Resources:
How to be a Gentleman , John Bridges
From http://www.askmen.com/money/successful_100/117_success.html;
http://www.askmen.com/money/successful_100/117b_success.html &
http://www.askmen.com/money/successful_100/117c_success.html
Etiquette Of A Gentleman: Part 2
By John Samuel
What do James Bond and Cary Grant have in common? They represent the quintessential gentleman. It's what makes them so charming and beloved. They are smooth and suave, and know how to behave in every situation. What do they have that I don't? you must be asking yourself. Nothing, it's just that they read the book on etiquette. Although one might think they're a staple of a bygone era, true gentlemen never go out of style.
basic good manners
Don't flaunt your riches
Nobody likes a braggart. Keep your assets vague if you have to discuss financial matters. You can wear expensive things without blowing your own trumpet.
Never let others see you looking at your watch
When you're amid company, ask for the time or look at your watch only if you're ready to leave right that instant. When others notice you glancing at the time, it can be interpreted as boredom. Be inconspicuous.
Never groom yourself in public
This includes picking your nose, chewing your nails and picking your teeth. These areas should only be ventured in private. Committing these acts overtly is a colossal mark of a lack of class.
Be punctual
Perhaps the greatest sign of respect, which is what a gentleman is all about, is being on time. Having people wait for you is the equivalent of telling them that you don't care about them.
Shake hands firmly
Your handshake should mirror your personality. You want the other person to think of you as someone resolved, concrete and positive. But it shouldn't be a test of your strength; don't hurt them. Your grip should be the same for women.
Apply constant verbal grace
Use "excuse me" or "I beg your pardon" for all occasions. An extension of politeness, you should always use these expressions, whether it's to get someone to move out of your way, to apologize for your upcoming journey to the men's room, or simply to signal your interlocutors that you're about to start a sentence.
Tip well and discreetly
Only tip when it's called for, as opposed to those occasions when it's simply awkward (i.e. hospital nurses or business messenger). When you do tip, don't be cheap. Respect the 15% gratuity for restaurant tabs and nothing less than $10 for a significantly useful maitre d'.
Project high moral values
Even if you know that deep down you're not, appear as if you were virtuous. A real gentleman always comes out of everything smelling like a rose.
Party etiquette and how to behave around the ladies...
party etiquette
The following tips apply for those occasions when you are venturing out into social events and get-togethers. God forbid you didn't know how to act like the gentleman you are.
Acknowledge your acquaintances
Don't play hide & seek with the people you know, even if you don't feel like talking to them. Bite the bullet, initiate the mandatory greetings, and get it over with.
Address new acquaintances by their title and last name
Doctor and military ranks are important to the people who have these titles. Mr. and Mrs. should be used for the others (if you're unsure about a woman's marital status, use Ms. when addressing her). Wait until they ask you to use their first name before doing so. There's nothing more irritating than someone who uses your first name two minutes after having met you.
Look at your interlocutor
Your attention should always be focused on the person you are talking with. Always look at them when listening as well as when you are in control of the conversation. Again, it's a question of respect.
At dinner, address those on your left and right
Unless it's a frat house keg fest, don't shout across the table -- concentrate on those closest to you. This will keep the proceedings calm and orderly.
Never remove coat or necktie when in company
By keeping your clothes on, you show that you consider the other guests important enough for you to remain fashionably tip-top.
Only talk when you've been formally introduced
Which is why the phrases "Have we met?" or "Have we been introduced?" are so handy. If you feel like speaking to somebody, find a person the two of you have in common and arrange a proper introduction.
Let your social superiors address you first
Unless you are on intimate terms, always let your social superior address you. This may seem archaic, but think of it in modern terms. You see Bill Gates at the party; do you go talk to him? Not unless you want his bodyguard to intervene. It can be clumsy, so arrange an introduction.
feeling gallant?
You know how to act around the ladies, don't you?
Never smoke in the presence of a lady unless invited to
In this age of political correctness it has almost become a given. While she may not ask you to, make sure you do request her permission.
Remove the cigar from your lips if a lady passes by
This one is pure common sense. It's a security measure as well as an indicator of high regard.
Offer your seat to women
Classics are always fashionable. Some feminists would certainly have a fit, but most women will definitely value the gesture.
Always carry a woman's packages
Let's face it; today's women would probably shoot you a puzzled fleeting look, so at least offer to do so. This lets her know you respect her and are courteous enough to inquire as to her comfort.
Finally, while excessive chivalry is what drove Don Quixote to madness, good manners are never uninvited in this era of fast business and faster relationships. Remember that behaving like a gentleman brings out the lady in every woman.
From http://www.askmen.com/money/successful_60/66_success.html &
http://www.askmen.com/money/successful_60/66b_success.html
What do James Bond and Cary Grant have in common? They represent the quintessential gentleman. It's what makes them so charming and beloved. They are smooth and suave, and know how to behave in every situation. What do they have that I don't? you must be asking yourself. Nothing, it's just that they read the book on etiquette. Although one might think they're a staple of a bygone era, true gentlemen never go out of style.
basic good manners
Don't flaunt your riches
Nobody likes a braggart. Keep your assets vague if you have to discuss financial matters. You can wear expensive things without blowing your own trumpet.
Never let others see you looking at your watch
When you're amid company, ask for the time or look at your watch only if you're ready to leave right that instant. When others notice you glancing at the time, it can be interpreted as boredom. Be inconspicuous.
Never groom yourself in public
This includes picking your nose, chewing your nails and picking your teeth. These areas should only be ventured in private. Committing these acts overtly is a colossal mark of a lack of class.
Be punctual
Perhaps the greatest sign of respect, which is what a gentleman is all about, is being on time. Having people wait for you is the equivalent of telling them that you don't care about them.
Shake hands firmly
Your handshake should mirror your personality. You want the other person to think of you as someone resolved, concrete and positive. But it shouldn't be a test of your strength; don't hurt them. Your grip should be the same for women.
Apply constant verbal grace
Use "excuse me" or "I beg your pardon" for all occasions. An extension of politeness, you should always use these expressions, whether it's to get someone to move out of your way, to apologize for your upcoming journey to the men's room, or simply to signal your interlocutors that you're about to start a sentence.
Tip well and discreetly
Only tip when it's called for, as opposed to those occasions when it's simply awkward (i.e. hospital nurses or business messenger). When you do tip, don't be cheap. Respect the 15% gratuity for restaurant tabs and nothing less than $10 for a significantly useful maitre d'.
Project high moral values
Even if you know that deep down you're not, appear as if you were virtuous. A real gentleman always comes out of everything smelling like a rose.
Party etiquette and how to behave around the ladies...
party etiquette
The following tips apply for those occasions when you are venturing out into social events and get-togethers. God forbid you didn't know how to act like the gentleman you are.
Acknowledge your acquaintances
Don't play hide & seek with the people you know, even if you don't feel like talking to them. Bite the bullet, initiate the mandatory greetings, and get it over with.
Address new acquaintances by their title and last name
Doctor and military ranks are important to the people who have these titles. Mr. and Mrs. should be used for the others (if you're unsure about a woman's marital status, use Ms. when addressing her). Wait until they ask you to use their first name before doing so. There's nothing more irritating than someone who uses your first name two minutes after having met you.
Look at your interlocutor
Your attention should always be focused on the person you are talking with. Always look at them when listening as well as when you are in control of the conversation. Again, it's a question of respect.
At dinner, address those on your left and right
Unless it's a frat house keg fest, don't shout across the table -- concentrate on those closest to you. This will keep the proceedings calm and orderly.
Never remove coat or necktie when in company
By keeping your clothes on, you show that you consider the other guests important enough for you to remain fashionably tip-top.
Only talk when you've been formally introduced
Which is why the phrases "Have we met?" or "Have we been introduced?" are so handy. If you feel like speaking to somebody, find a person the two of you have in common and arrange a proper introduction.
Let your social superiors address you first
Unless you are on intimate terms, always let your social superior address you. This may seem archaic, but think of it in modern terms. You see Bill Gates at the party; do you go talk to him? Not unless you want his bodyguard to intervene. It can be clumsy, so arrange an introduction.
feeling gallant?
You know how to act around the ladies, don't you?
Never smoke in the presence of a lady unless invited to
In this age of political correctness it has almost become a given. While she may not ask you to, make sure you do request her permission.
Remove the cigar from your lips if a lady passes by
This one is pure common sense. It's a security measure as well as an indicator of high regard.
Offer your seat to women
Classics are always fashionable. Some feminists would certainly have a fit, but most women will definitely value the gesture.
Always carry a woman's packages
Let's face it; today's women would probably shoot you a puzzled fleeting look, so at least offer to do so. This lets her know you respect her and are courteous enough to inquire as to her comfort.
Finally, while excessive chivalry is what drove Don Quixote to madness, good manners are never uninvited in this era of fast business and faster relationships. Remember that behaving like a gentleman brings out the lady in every woman.
From http://www.askmen.com/money/successful_60/66_success.html &
http://www.askmen.com/money/successful_60/66b_success.html
Etiquette Of A Gentleman Part 1
By Michael Bucci
One only needs to take a quick glance around to notice that there are very few true gentlemen remaining among us. In times past, a gentleman was much appreciated and being gentlemanly was a noble thing.
Alas, things have changed in today's society; some for the better and some for the worse. One thing that particularly irks me is the lack of good taste and etiquette most guys are guilty of at the turn of this new millennium.
I'm not saying that men should act like robots and be slaves to etiquette, but some basic good manners will go a long way in helping you during your ascent to the top.
What I've done is compile a quick list of tips that will help turn even the most blundering fool into a proper gentleman. Follow these simple tips and I can assure you that people will perceive you as a man of good breeding and taste, hence a man they wish to associate and conduct business with. Not to mention the fact that the ladies are always quite pleased to meet a real gentleman.
general etiquette
Always be polite
Even if you don't like someone, there is no need to lower yourself to their level. Be polite and courteous; show that you're the better man.
Do not curse
Swearing is a big no-no. It shows that you don't have the vocabulary to express your thoughts appropriately. Furthermore, it is always very crude and impolite to be vulgar.
Do not speak loudly
When you speak loudly, it raises the stress level among company. It always implies that you can't reason with people and rely on "brute force" to get your point across. It also draws attention -- negative attention.
Do not lose your temper
When you lose your temper, you are showing everyone that you can't control your emotions. If you can't even control yourself, then how can you possibly control anything else? Keep your cool at all times (it won't be easy but it is worth the effort) and people will take positive note of your levelheadedness.
Do not stare
Ogling someone is the equivalent of psychological aggression. You don't want to intimidate people for no reason.
Do not interrupt
Let people finish what they are saying before adding your comments. Interrupting others is a sign of poor etiquette and a lack of social skills. If you want to come across as egotistical, you can do so by constantly interrupting.
Do not spit
A lot of men do this almost subconsciously. Spitting is very crude and not too pretty to look at. Do not spit in public unless you want to look like you were raised in a sewer.
Respect your elders
In fact, you should respect others as you would like them to respect you. I am specifying elders because it seems that today, young men think they know it all. Well, they don't. Just think of yourself five years ago... you're much smarter and experienced today, aren't you? Of course, yet you thought you knew it all five years ago.
Now on to how to be a smooth gentleman with the ladies...
Do not laugh at others' mistakes
This is perhaps one of the cruelest things one can do. When you mess up, the last thing you want is for someone not only to bring it to your attention, but to ridicule you on top of that.
Remove your hat indoors
This rule seems to have gone out the window these days. You should remove your headwear upon entering a building. Furthermore, never keep your hat on while at the dinner table. It reflects very poor etiquette.
Wait for seating before eating
When sitting down for a meal, you should wait until all the guests are properly seated and ready to commence the meal before eating. Everyone should start dining at the same time; this is a subtle but very important rule.
the basics of chivalry
In addition to the aforementioned rules, gentlemen (in training) should follow these additional rules when in the presence of a lady. Chivalry may be on life support, but it is not dead yet. Be one of the few to keep this flame burning for many years to come.
Always open doors
This is perhaps the most basic rule of male etiquette out there. It is also one of the easiest to follow so you have no reason to forget it. Whether she is about to enter your car, restaurant, club, or anyplace with a door, you should always hold it open. If there are many doors, then hold them open one after the other.
Put on her coat
Always help a lady put on her coat or overgarment. This is a simple but powerful action.
Help with her seat
If an unaccompanied lady is sitting next to you, it is important that you help her be seated by pulling her chair out for her and gently pushing it back into place, with the lady seated of course.
Give up your seat
If a lady arrives at the table and there are no available seats, you should stand up and offer yours to her.
Stand at attention
Always stand when a lady enters or exits the room. This rule has been somewhat relaxed, so you can stand upon entrance but remain seated upon exit. Nonetheless, if you can do both, you should.
Give her your arm
When escorting a lady (that you know) to and from social events, you should offer her your arm. This is a little more intimate, but serves well when walking on uneven ground -- especially if she's wearing high heels.
Ask if she needs anything
This is one that most guys already do, but helps complete the gentleman in all of us nevertheless. When at social events, make sure to ask the lady if you can get her something to drink (or eat, depending on the event). Show her that you care about her comfort and needs.
Gentlemen, if I may call you that, these are the rules of etiquette you should observe in everyday life. Elevate yourself above the rabble and display the mannerisms of a true gentleman. The world will appreciate such a rarity and your career will most definitely benefit from your good manners and savoir-faire.
From http://www.askmen.com/money/successful/41_success.html &
http://www.askmen.com/money/successful/41b_success.html
One only needs to take a quick glance around to notice that there are very few true gentlemen remaining among us. In times past, a gentleman was much appreciated and being gentlemanly was a noble thing.
Alas, things have changed in today's society; some for the better and some for the worse. One thing that particularly irks me is the lack of good taste and etiquette most guys are guilty of at the turn of this new millennium.
I'm not saying that men should act like robots and be slaves to etiquette, but some basic good manners will go a long way in helping you during your ascent to the top.
What I've done is compile a quick list of tips that will help turn even the most blundering fool into a proper gentleman. Follow these simple tips and I can assure you that people will perceive you as a man of good breeding and taste, hence a man they wish to associate and conduct business with. Not to mention the fact that the ladies are always quite pleased to meet a real gentleman.
general etiquette
Always be polite
Even if you don't like someone, there is no need to lower yourself to their level. Be polite and courteous; show that you're the better man.
Do not curse
Swearing is a big no-no. It shows that you don't have the vocabulary to express your thoughts appropriately. Furthermore, it is always very crude and impolite to be vulgar.
Do not speak loudly
When you speak loudly, it raises the stress level among company. It always implies that you can't reason with people and rely on "brute force" to get your point across. It also draws attention -- negative attention.
Do not lose your temper
When you lose your temper, you are showing everyone that you can't control your emotions. If you can't even control yourself, then how can you possibly control anything else? Keep your cool at all times (it won't be easy but it is worth the effort) and people will take positive note of your levelheadedness.
Do not stare
Ogling someone is the equivalent of psychological aggression. You don't want to intimidate people for no reason.
Do not interrupt
Let people finish what they are saying before adding your comments. Interrupting others is a sign of poor etiquette and a lack of social skills. If you want to come across as egotistical, you can do so by constantly interrupting.
Do not spit
A lot of men do this almost subconsciously. Spitting is very crude and not too pretty to look at. Do not spit in public unless you want to look like you were raised in a sewer.
Respect your elders
In fact, you should respect others as you would like them to respect you. I am specifying elders because it seems that today, young men think they know it all. Well, they don't. Just think of yourself five years ago... you're much smarter and experienced today, aren't you? Of course, yet you thought you knew it all five years ago.
Now on to how to be a smooth gentleman with the ladies...
Do not laugh at others' mistakes
This is perhaps one of the cruelest things one can do. When you mess up, the last thing you want is for someone not only to bring it to your attention, but to ridicule you on top of that.
Remove your hat indoors
This rule seems to have gone out the window these days. You should remove your headwear upon entering a building. Furthermore, never keep your hat on while at the dinner table. It reflects very poor etiquette.
Wait for seating before eating
When sitting down for a meal, you should wait until all the guests are properly seated and ready to commence the meal before eating. Everyone should start dining at the same time; this is a subtle but very important rule.
the basics of chivalry
In addition to the aforementioned rules, gentlemen (in training) should follow these additional rules when in the presence of a lady. Chivalry may be on life support, but it is not dead yet. Be one of the few to keep this flame burning for many years to come.
Always open doors
This is perhaps the most basic rule of male etiquette out there. It is also one of the easiest to follow so you have no reason to forget it. Whether she is about to enter your car, restaurant, club, or anyplace with a door, you should always hold it open. If there are many doors, then hold them open one after the other.
Put on her coat
Always help a lady put on her coat or overgarment. This is a simple but powerful action.
Help with her seat
If an unaccompanied lady is sitting next to you, it is important that you help her be seated by pulling her chair out for her and gently pushing it back into place, with the lady seated of course.
Give up your seat
If a lady arrives at the table and there are no available seats, you should stand up and offer yours to her.
Stand at attention
Always stand when a lady enters or exits the room. This rule has been somewhat relaxed, so you can stand upon entrance but remain seated upon exit. Nonetheless, if you can do both, you should.
Give her your arm
When escorting a lady (that you know) to and from social events, you should offer her your arm. This is a little more intimate, but serves well when walking on uneven ground -- especially if she's wearing high heels.
Ask if she needs anything
This is one that most guys already do, but helps complete the gentleman in all of us nevertheless. When at social events, make sure to ask the lady if you can get her something to drink (or eat, depending on the event). Show her that you care about her comfort and needs.
Gentlemen, if I may call you that, these are the rules of etiquette you should observe in everyday life. Elevate yourself above the rabble and display the mannerisms of a true gentleman. The world will appreciate such a rarity and your career will most definitely benefit from your good manners and savoir-faire.
From http://www.askmen.com/money/successful/41_success.html &
http://www.askmen.com/money/successful/41b_success.html
Gentleman...What Is It?
Definition:
In its best use, moreover, "gentleman" involves a certain superior standard of conduct, due, to quote the 8th edition once more, to "that self-respect and intellectual refinement which manifest themselves in unrestrained yet delicate manners". The word "gentle", originally implying a certain social status, had very early come to be associated with the standard of manners expected from that status. Thus by a sort of punning process the "gentleman" becomes a "gentle-man".
In another sense, being a gentleman means treating others, especially women, in a respectful manner, and not taking advantage or pushing others into doing things they choose not to do. The exception, of course, is to push one into something they need to do for their own good, as in a visit to the hospital, or pursuing a dream one has suppressed.
In some cases its meaning becomes twisted through misguided efforts to avoid offending anyone; a news report of a riot may refer to a "gentleman" trying to smash a window with a dustbin in order to loot a store. Similar use (notably between quotation marks or in an appropriate tone) may also be deliberate irony.
Another modern usage of gentleman- is as a prefix to another term to imply that a man has sufficient wealth and free time to pursue an area of interest without depending on it for his livelihood. Examples include gentleman scientist, gentleman farmer, gentleman architect[2], and gentleman pirate.
(http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gentleman)
In its best use, moreover, "gentleman" involves a certain superior standard of conduct, due, to quote the 8th edition once more, to "that self-respect and intellectual refinement which manifest themselves in unrestrained yet delicate manners". The word "gentle", originally implying a certain social status, had very early come to be associated with the standard of manners expected from that status. Thus by a sort of punning process the "gentleman" becomes a "gentle-man".
In another sense, being a gentleman means treating others, especially women, in a respectful manner, and not taking advantage or pushing others into doing things they choose not to do. The exception, of course, is to push one into something they need to do for their own good, as in a visit to the hospital, or pursuing a dream one has suppressed.
In some cases its meaning becomes twisted through misguided efforts to avoid offending anyone; a news report of a riot may refer to a "gentleman" trying to smash a window with a dustbin in order to loot a store. Similar use (notably between quotation marks or in an appropriate tone) may also be deliberate irony.
Another modern usage of gentleman- is as a prefix to another term to imply that a man has sufficient wealth and free time to pursue an area of interest without depending on it for his livelihood. Examples include gentleman scientist, gentleman farmer, gentleman architect[2], and gentleman pirate.
(http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gentleman)
Sunday, October 25, 2009
Saturday, October 10, 2009
Tuesday, September 29, 2009
Monday, September 28, 2009
Let's Forgive...
Malachi 4:6
And he shall turn and reconcile the hearts of the [estranged] fathers to the [ungodly] children, and the hearts of the [rebellious] children to [the piety of] their fathers [a reconciliation produced by repentance of the ungodly], lest I come and smite the land with a curse and a ban of utter destruction.
Saturday, September 26, 2009
Common-Cement Speech
Here's Ellen Degenerous gicing a Commencement speech for Tulane University's Katrina Class 2009:
Wonder wat it wud be like if UTAR had this as one of our speeches......
Wonder wat it wud be like if UTAR had this as one of our speeches......
'Bloody' Kid!!!
Check out the link....I can't embed the video....
Blood
I like it when he says, 'not funny' hahahhehehaha....
Blood
I like it when he says, 'not funny' hahahhehehaha....
Wednesday, September 23, 2009
Tuesday, September 22, 2009
Friday, September 18, 2009
Thursday, September 17, 2009
Wednesday, September 16, 2009
Tuesday, September 15, 2009
Monday, September 14, 2009
of virginity and relationships
Taken from Aaron Leow Thean Loon:
girls, you should always give your first time to the person who marries you, literally marry, not the kind that says he will marry you..
it always pains me to see a lot of girls get into such a bad shape when they break up with someone who took away all their "first"s....and the reasons that they gave up their first time(regardless of what actions they are) are downright silly...so here i am, trying to tell you what are guys' mentality towards relationships in general...
first of all, a gf, does not need to entertain all of her bf's sexual needs...there is no guidebook on how to be a gf that says a girl needs to do that...so girls please don't...
there are a lot of excuses a guy will make up in order to sleep with you, first of all, there's the famous "if you love me, then you'll do it for me", then there is the "since we're getting married anyway, so why wait?" PLEASE WAIT!!, and then there's also the kind where he pretends to be "kesian" and when you reject him so that you'll give in to his demands....
of course, i will have to say, a guy will always give you all the best promises or gifts when he wants something from you....he will butter you up with sweet words or treat you especially nice like a gentleman from some rom-com movies...and even after you give him your "first" time...regardless of which "first" is it with number X guys, as long as it's first between you and him, then he'll be nice to you, just for A WHILE though...after you've done that, he'll know that he's got you right by the neck...he knows that you'll stick by him no matter what, because you've given him something that you want back, but ultimately can't take back....like what people always say, the person who controls the relationship is the person who cares less...now, the guy will be the person who cares less...so he holds that power....
but i have good news for you, you need not worry, you'll find a better guy than that jerk...
secondly, if you're no longer a virgin, if you meet someone you really really do love and loves you as much after breaking up with that first jerk, if you're honest with him, if he really does love you, then he will accept you no matter who've you been, or what you've done before...but that doesn't mean that he won't feel hurt that you've lost your virginity to someone else, and although he feels that within him, he will not tell you about it, because he knows, if he discusses that with you, then you'll probably feel guilty, and he does not want you to feel that way, therefore, he would rather keep it inside him, and not say a single thing for fear of hurting you...
thirdly, many of you might think that university might be a good place and time to start trusting your partner and that you're headed for a marriage soon enough...well, there's no definition on how to measure maturity but i can tell you, most guys are still not mature when they're in uni...some never do grow up!! ahaha...(me included)
last but not least, if you feel that you've been cheated in a relationship before, not only like third party and stuff, but how the other person has treated you before...please don't dwell on it and make your own life miserable, because i can tell you, honestly, that person does not care anymore, and if you've feel what you've done has been so wrong and nothing else can undo all that you've done before, always remember that there is a GOD who loves you so so so much, and he will forgive you, only if you ask...
yes, you may not get your virginity back in this case, but if He can make you "born-again" and create the whole world, there's nothing that He cannot do...
ps: this is written by somebody else, but i've translated it and added into it a bit of my own...please share this with ppl whom you really care about...
girls, you should always give your first time to the person who marries you, literally marry, not the kind that says he will marry you..
it always pains me to see a lot of girls get into such a bad shape when they break up with someone who took away all their "first"s....and the reasons that they gave up their first time(regardless of what actions they are) are downright silly...so here i am, trying to tell you what are guys' mentality towards relationships in general...
first of all, a gf, does not need to entertain all of her bf's sexual needs...there is no guidebook on how to be a gf that says a girl needs to do that...so girls please don't...
there are a lot of excuses a guy will make up in order to sleep with you, first of all, there's the famous "if you love me, then you'll do it for me", then there is the "since we're getting married anyway, so why wait?" PLEASE WAIT!!, and then there's also the kind where he pretends to be "kesian" and when you reject him so that you'll give in to his demands....
of course, i will have to say, a guy will always give you all the best promises or gifts when he wants something from you....he will butter you up with sweet words or treat you especially nice like a gentleman from some rom-com movies...and even after you give him your "first" time...regardless of which "first" is it with number X guys, as long as it's first between you and him, then he'll be nice to you, just for A WHILE though...after you've done that, he'll know that he's got you right by the neck...he knows that you'll stick by him no matter what, because you've given him something that you want back, but ultimately can't take back....like what people always say, the person who controls the relationship is the person who cares less...now, the guy will be the person who cares less...so he holds that power....
but i have good news for you, you need not worry, you'll find a better guy than that jerk...
secondly, if you're no longer a virgin, if you meet someone you really really do love and loves you as much after breaking up with that first jerk, if you're honest with him, if he really does love you, then he will accept you no matter who've you been, or what you've done before...but that doesn't mean that he won't feel hurt that you've lost your virginity to someone else, and although he feels that within him, he will not tell you about it, because he knows, if he discusses that with you, then you'll probably feel guilty, and he does not want you to feel that way, therefore, he would rather keep it inside him, and not say a single thing for fear of hurting you...
thirdly, many of you might think that university might be a good place and time to start trusting your partner and that you're headed for a marriage soon enough...well, there's no definition on how to measure maturity but i can tell you, most guys are still not mature when they're in uni...some never do grow up!! ahaha...(me included)
last but not least, if you feel that you've been cheated in a relationship before, not only like third party and stuff, but how the other person has treated you before...please don't dwell on it and make your own life miserable, because i can tell you, honestly, that person does not care anymore, and if you've feel what you've done has been so wrong and nothing else can undo all that you've done before, always remember that there is a GOD who loves you so so so much, and he will forgive you, only if you ask...
yes, you may not get your virginity back in this case, but if He can make you "born-again" and create the whole world, there's nothing that He cannot do...
ps: this is written by somebody else, but i've translated it and added into it a bit of my own...please share this with ppl whom you really care about...
Sunday, September 13, 2009
Monday, September 7, 2009
Things You can DO to be a Gentleman!
Taken from Collegetips.com
Being a gentleman is a problem many college guys have. Some college guys truely understand what it means to be a gentleman, and they get a lot of respect from college girls. Talking to girls is not enough, girls also notice the way you act and treat others, this is why it is very important to be a gentleman at all times.
Tips on being a Gentleman
* Open, and hold open doors for ladies of all ages
* Pull out a ladies chair for her when she sits down
* If it is cold outside, offer her your jacket
* Don't touch your food until all ladies at your table have been served.
* Do not to use profane language in front of females
* When walking down the street with a lady, walk on the street side
* Always look into a girls eyes, and never at her body
* Never touch a girl before she touches you
* Never talk negatively about any girls (even ex-girlfriends)
* Don't brag or talk too much about yourself
* Ask her questions and listen
* Only give a female a compliment if you truly believe it
* Only say you are going to call, if you really are
* Never release bodily functions around a female (don't burp, fart, etc.)
* Try to refrain from doing other gross things (picking your nose, scratching... etc.)
* When you meet a lady for the first time, always say "it was nice meeting you"
By following tips like these on how to be a gentleman, you will set yourself apart from most guys out there. Very few college guys are smart enough to do these types of things, so she will think you are not like all the other guys. Females have a talent for noticing everything, so make sure you are on best behavior when out with a college girl.
Being a gentleman is a problem many college guys have. Some college guys truely understand what it means to be a gentleman, and they get a lot of respect from college girls. Talking to girls is not enough, girls also notice the way you act and treat others, this is why it is very important to be a gentleman at all times.
Tips on being a Gentleman
* Open, and hold open doors for ladies of all ages
* Pull out a ladies chair for her when she sits down
* If it is cold outside, offer her your jacket
* Don't touch your food until all ladies at your table have been served.
* Do not to use profane language in front of females
* When walking down the street with a lady, walk on the street side
* Always look into a girls eyes, and never at her body
* Never touch a girl before she touches you
* Never talk negatively about any girls (even ex-girlfriends)
* Don't brag or talk too much about yourself
* Ask her questions and listen
* Only give a female a compliment if you truly believe it
* Only say you are going to call, if you really are
* Never release bodily functions around a female (don't burp, fart, etc.)
* Try to refrain from doing other gross things (picking your nose, scratching... etc.)
* When you meet a lady for the first time, always say "it was nice meeting you"
By following tips like these on how to be a gentleman, you will set yourself apart from most guys out there. Very few college guys are smart enough to do these types of things, so she will think you are not like all the other guys. Females have a talent for noticing everything, so make sure you are on best behavior when out with a college girl.
On Being a Gentleman......(& A Lady)
These are taken from Jeff Widman's Blog:
These are most of the better responses I’ve heard in response to the two questions (generally posed to the opposite gender):
When answering these questions, it’s easier if you think in your head of a person or two who comes to mind when you think of a gentleman or a lady, and then analyze why they seem to be a gentleman or a lady.
What does the Bible say about these things?
What does it mean to be a gentleman?
————————————
A gentleman is a man–strong and a leader. Yet also gentle.
Strong hands–strength and hard-worker
Strong-willed–sticking to decisions, and not wavering, though teachable
Terry Smith once told me that he’d interacted with over a thousand men over the course of his business career, yet had met less then ten men who were truly “gentle”-”men.”
July Harmsworth (and several others since then)–”A gentleman is someone who respects my space.” (This seems to refer to both emotional and physical space.)
Allison K–”A gentleman is adventurous in a dangerous way.” (Seems reminiscent of CS Lewis’s description of Aslan: “He’s not a tame lion.”)
Many–A gentleman is aware of things to notice when to open the door, and other little things that show he cares.
Many girls–A gentleman is compassionate–truly caring about girls, but also about other men. He opens the door not to bring attention to himself as a gentleman, but because he truly cares enough to show respect.
Brittany Pinkey–”A gentleman not only helps a lady out, he also subltly communicates the he respects her ability to do things (she’s not helpless) even as he helps her out by holding open the door.”
Girls consistently reference the attitude behind as one of respect, and not so much the actual gestures, as simply the underlying attitude. Often a distinction is made between gentlemanly gestures, and a true gentleman.
Corrie Miksovsky–A gentleman listens when a lady wishes to talk.
Corrie Miksovsky–A gentleman is teachable.
Andrew Nelson–A gentleman has deep humility.
What does it mean to be a lady?
——————————-
Jeff Widman–A lady graciously allows herself to be helped, without being helpless. Not defensive about her power.
Proverbs 31:30–Charm is deceitful and beauty is fleeting, but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.
Michelle Widman–A lady is self-controlled to avoid any attempts to manipulate men and get their attention.
Elizabeth Elliot–A lady does not pursue men; she holds them at arm’s length.
Ruth in the Bible–made herself available, without necessarily pursuing
Jeff Widman–A lady respects my space, both physically (the crudest form of violation) but also emotionally.
Many–A lady has a sense of refined elegance, not weakness, but not manly power either–a delicacy in some ways.
Many–A lady is very hospitable.
Andrew Nelson–Modesty is really important for a lady; a modesty that understands beauty.
These are most of the better responses I’ve heard in response to the two questions (generally posed to the opposite gender):
When answering these questions, it’s easier if you think in your head of a person or two who comes to mind when you think of a gentleman or a lady, and then analyze why they seem to be a gentleman or a lady.
What does the Bible say about these things?
What does it mean to be a gentleman?
————————————
A gentleman is a man–strong and a leader. Yet also gentle.
Strong hands–strength and hard-worker
Strong-willed–sticking to decisions, and not wavering, though teachable
Terry Smith once told me that he’d interacted with over a thousand men over the course of his business career, yet had met less then ten men who were truly “gentle”-”men.”
July Harmsworth (and several others since then)–”A gentleman is someone who respects my space.” (This seems to refer to both emotional and physical space.)
Allison K–”A gentleman is adventurous in a dangerous way.” (Seems reminiscent of CS Lewis’s description of Aslan: “He’s not a tame lion.”)
Many–A gentleman is aware of things to notice when to open the door, and other little things that show he cares.
Many girls–A gentleman is compassionate–truly caring about girls, but also about other men. He opens the door not to bring attention to himself as a gentleman, but because he truly cares enough to show respect.
Brittany Pinkey–”A gentleman not only helps a lady out, he also subltly communicates the he respects her ability to do things (she’s not helpless) even as he helps her out by holding open the door.”
Girls consistently reference the attitude behind as one of respect, and not so much the actual gestures, as simply the underlying attitude. Often a distinction is made between gentlemanly gestures, and a true gentleman.
Corrie Miksovsky–A gentleman listens when a lady wishes to talk.
Corrie Miksovsky–A gentleman is teachable.
Andrew Nelson–A gentleman has deep humility.
What does it mean to be a lady?
——————————-
Jeff Widman–A lady graciously allows herself to be helped, without being helpless. Not defensive about her power.
Proverbs 31:30–Charm is deceitful and beauty is fleeting, but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.
Michelle Widman–A lady is self-controlled to avoid any attempts to manipulate men and get their attention.
Elizabeth Elliot–A lady does not pursue men; she holds them at arm’s length.
Ruth in the Bible–made herself available, without necessarily pursuing
Jeff Widman–A lady respects my space, both physically (the crudest form of violation) but also emotionally.
Many–A lady has a sense of refined elegance, not weakness, but not manly power either–a delicacy in some ways.
Many–A lady is very hospitable.
Andrew Nelson–Modesty is really important for a lady; a modesty that understands beauty.
Saturday, September 5, 2009
Friday, September 4, 2009
Wednesday, September 2, 2009
Neat Idea!
I'm thinkin of buyin a new car, prolly a Kelisa? any lobang 2 help find one budget abt 18-20 K...
Tuesday, September 1, 2009
Funky Jumping Spiders
This is a friend of mine, doing wat he does best!
Cmon! Let's support local music!
Cmon! Let's support local music!
Thursday, August 27, 2009
Wednesday, August 26, 2009
Monday, August 24, 2009
Thursday, August 20, 2009
How to go about a 'relationship'
Credits to Aaron Leow Thean Loon:
Thanks Man!!
this is not from me...from a friend actually....a reminder to those who are seeking, and also those who are in a relationship...and a guideline for the young...=D
"When it comes to making the decision about choosing a life partner, no
one wants to make a mistake. Yet, with a divorce rate of close to 50%,
it appears that many are making serious mistakes in their approach to
finding Mr./Miss. Right!
If you ask most couples who are engaged why they're getting married,
they'll say: 'We're in love'; I believe this is the ..1 mistake people
make when they date.. Choosing a life partner should never be based on
love. Though this may sound 'not politically correct', there's a
profound truth here.
Love is not the basis for getting married. Rather, love is the result of
a good marriage. When the other ingredients are right, then the love
will come. Let me say it again: 'You can't build a lifetime relationship
on love alone'; You need a lot more!!!
Here are five questions you must ask yourself if you're serious about
finding and keeping a life partner.
QUESTION ..1: Do we share a common life purpose?
Why is this so important? Let me put it this way: If you're married for
20 or 30 years, that's a long time to live with someone. What do you
plan to do with each other all that time? Travel, eat and jog together?
You need to share something deeper and more meaningful. You need a
common life purpose.
Two things can happen in a marriage: (1) You can grow together, or
(2)you can grow apart. 50% of the people out there are growing apart.
To make a marriage work, you need to know what you want out of life!
Bottom line; marry someone who wants the same thing.
QUESTION ..2: Do I feel safe expressing my feelings and thoughts with this person?
This question goes to the core of the quality of your relationship.
Feeling safe means you can communicate openly with this person. The
basis of having good communication is trust â€' i.e.. trust that I won't
get 'punished'; or hurt for expressing my honest thoughts and feelings.
A colleague of mine defines an abusive person as someone with whom you
feel afraid to express your thoughts and feelings. Be honest with
yourself on this one. Make sure you feel emotionally safe with the
person you plan to marry.
QUESTION ..3: Is he/she a mensch?
A mensch is someone who is a refined and sensitive person. How can you
test? Here are some suggestions. Do they work on personal growth on a
regular basis? Are they serious about improving themselves? A teacher of
mine defines a good person as 'someone who is always striving to be good
and do the right ';. So ask about your significant other: What do they
do with their time? Is this person materialistic? Usually a
materialistic person is not someone whose top priority is character
refinement.
There are essentially two types of people in the world: (1) People who
are dedicated to personal growth and (2) people who are dedicated to
seeking comfort. Someone whose goal in life is to be comfortable will
put personal comfort ahead of doing the right thing. You need to know
that before walking down the aisle.
QUESTION ..4: How does he/she treat other people?
The one most important thing that makes any relationship work is the
ability to give. By giving, we mean the ability to give another person
pleasure.
Ask: Is this someone who enjoys giving pleasure to others or are they
wrapped up in themselves and selfâ€' absorbed?
To measure this, think about the following: How do they treat people
whom they do not have to be nice to, such as waiters, bus boys, taxi
drivers, etc.. How do they treat their parents and siblings? Do they
have gratitude and appreciation?
If they don't have gratitude for the people who have given them
everything; can you do nearly as much for them? You can be sure that
someone, who treats others poorly, will eventually treat you poorly as
well.
QUESTION ..5: Is there anything I'm hoping to change about this person after we're married?
Too many people make the mistake of marrying someone with the intention
of trying to 'improve'; them after they're married. As a colleague of
mine puts it: 'You can probably expect someone to change after marriage
for the worse' If you cannot fully accept this person the way they are
now, then you are not ready to marry them.
In conclusion, dating doesn't have to be difficult and treacherous.
The key is to try leading a little more with your head and less with
your heart. It pays to be as objective as possible when you are dating;
to be sure to ask questions that will help you get to the key issues.
Falling in love is a great feeling, but when you wake up with a ring on
your finger, you don't want to find yourself trouble because you didn't
do your homework.
Another perspective...
There are some people in your life that need to be loved from a
distance.. It's amazing what you can accomplish when you let go of or at
least minimize your time with draining, negative, incompatible,
notâ€'going anywhere relationships. Observe the relationships around you.
Pay attention...Which ones lift and which ones lean?
Which ones encourage and which ones discourage?
Which ones are on a path of growth uphill and which ones are going
downhill?
When you leave certain people do you feel better or feel worse?
Which ones dont appreciate you?
Which ones make you feel good, praises you, boosts you with loving and
caring words or annotations.
The more you seek quality, respect, growth, peace of mind, love and
truth around you...the easier it will become for you to decide who gets
to sit in the front row and who should be moved to the balcony of your
life.
An African proverb states, 'Before you get married, keep both eyes open,
and after you marry, close one eye'; Before you get involved and make a
commitment to someone, don't let lust, desperation, immaturity,
ignorance, pressure from others or a low selfâ€'esteem make you blind to
warning signs. Keep your eyes open, and don't fool yourself that you can
change someone or that what you see as faults aren't really that
important.
Do you bring out the best in each other?
Do you compliment and compromise with each other, or do you compete,
compare and control?
What do you bring to the relationship?
Do you bring past relationships, past hurt, past mistrust, past pain?
You can't take someone to the altar to alter them. You can't make
someone love you or make someone stay.
If you develop selfâ€'esteem, spiritual discernment, and 'a life'; you
won't find yourself making someone else responsible for your happiness
or responsible for your pain. Seeking status, sex, and security are the
wrong reasons to be in a relationship.
WHAT KEEPS A RELATIONSHIP STRONG IS:
1. TRUST
2. COMMUNICATION
3. INTIMACY
4. A SENSE OF HUMOR
5. SHARING TASKS
6. DAILY EXCHANGES (meal, shared activity, hug, call, touch, notes,etc.)
7. SHARING COMMON GOALS AND INTERESTS
8. GIVING EACH OTHER SPACE TO GROW WITHOUT FEELING INSECURE
9.GIVING EACH OTHER A SENSE OF BELONGING AND ASSURANCES OF COMMITMENT
10. CONCERN AND CARE FOR YOUR LOVER IN YOUR OWN WAYS.
If these qualities are missing, the relationship will erode as
resentment withdrawal, abuse, neglect, and dishonesty; and pain will
replace. "
Read it at: http://www.facebook.com/note.php?note_id=139166356083&ref=mf
Thanks Man!!
this is not from me...from a friend actually....a reminder to those who are seeking, and also those who are in a relationship...and a guideline for the young...=D
"When it comes to making the decision about choosing a life partner, no
one wants to make a mistake. Yet, with a divorce rate of close to 50%,
it appears that many are making serious mistakes in their approach to
finding Mr./Miss. Right!
If you ask most couples who are engaged why they're getting married,
they'll say: 'We're in love'; I believe this is the ..1 mistake people
make when they date.. Choosing a life partner should never be based on
love. Though this may sound 'not politically correct', there's a
profound truth here.
Love is not the basis for getting married. Rather, love is the result of
a good marriage. When the other ingredients are right, then the love
will come. Let me say it again: 'You can't build a lifetime relationship
on love alone'; You need a lot more!!!
Here are five questions you must ask yourself if you're serious about
finding and keeping a life partner.
QUESTION ..1: Do we share a common life purpose?
Why is this so important? Let me put it this way: If you're married for
20 or 30 years, that's a long time to live with someone. What do you
plan to do with each other all that time? Travel, eat and jog together?
You need to share something deeper and more meaningful. You need a
common life purpose.
Two things can happen in a marriage: (1) You can grow together, or
(2)you can grow apart. 50% of the people out there are growing apart.
To make a marriage work, you need to know what you want out of life!
Bottom line; marry someone who wants the same thing.
QUESTION ..2: Do I feel safe expressing my feelings and thoughts with this person?
This question goes to the core of the quality of your relationship.
Feeling safe means you can communicate openly with this person. The
basis of having good communication is trust â€' i.e.. trust that I won't
get 'punished'; or hurt for expressing my honest thoughts and feelings.
A colleague of mine defines an abusive person as someone with whom you
feel afraid to express your thoughts and feelings. Be honest with
yourself on this one. Make sure you feel emotionally safe with the
person you plan to marry.
QUESTION ..3: Is he/she a mensch?
A mensch is someone who is a refined and sensitive person. How can you
test? Here are some suggestions. Do they work on personal growth on a
regular basis? Are they serious about improving themselves? A teacher of
mine defines a good person as 'someone who is always striving to be good
and do the right ';. So ask about your significant other: What do they
do with their time? Is this person materialistic? Usually a
materialistic person is not someone whose top priority is character
refinement.
There are essentially two types of people in the world: (1) People who
are dedicated to personal growth and (2) people who are dedicated to
seeking comfort. Someone whose goal in life is to be comfortable will
put personal comfort ahead of doing the right thing. You need to know
that before walking down the aisle.
QUESTION ..4: How does he/she treat other people?
The one most important thing that makes any relationship work is the
ability to give. By giving, we mean the ability to give another person
pleasure.
Ask: Is this someone who enjoys giving pleasure to others or are they
wrapped up in themselves and selfâ€' absorbed?
To measure this, think about the following: How do they treat people
whom they do not have to be nice to, such as waiters, bus boys, taxi
drivers, etc.. How do they treat their parents and siblings? Do they
have gratitude and appreciation?
If they don't have gratitude for the people who have given them
everything; can you do nearly as much for them? You can be sure that
someone, who treats others poorly, will eventually treat you poorly as
well.
QUESTION ..5: Is there anything I'm hoping to change about this person after we're married?
Too many people make the mistake of marrying someone with the intention
of trying to 'improve'; them after they're married. As a colleague of
mine puts it: 'You can probably expect someone to change after marriage
for the worse' If you cannot fully accept this person the way they are
now, then you are not ready to marry them.
In conclusion, dating doesn't have to be difficult and treacherous.
The key is to try leading a little more with your head and less with
your heart. It pays to be as objective as possible when you are dating;
to be sure to ask questions that will help you get to the key issues.
Falling in love is a great feeling, but when you wake up with a ring on
your finger, you don't want to find yourself trouble because you didn't
do your homework.
Another perspective...
There are some people in your life that need to be loved from a
distance.. It's amazing what you can accomplish when you let go of or at
least minimize your time with draining, negative, incompatible,
notâ€'going anywhere relationships. Observe the relationships around you.
Pay attention...Which ones lift and which ones lean?
Which ones encourage and which ones discourage?
Which ones are on a path of growth uphill and which ones are going
downhill?
When you leave certain people do you feel better or feel worse?
Which ones dont appreciate you?
Which ones make you feel good, praises you, boosts you with loving and
caring words or annotations.
The more you seek quality, respect, growth, peace of mind, love and
truth around you...the easier it will become for you to decide who gets
to sit in the front row and who should be moved to the balcony of your
life.
An African proverb states, 'Before you get married, keep both eyes open,
and after you marry, close one eye'; Before you get involved and make a
commitment to someone, don't let lust, desperation, immaturity,
ignorance, pressure from others or a low selfâ€'esteem make you blind to
warning signs. Keep your eyes open, and don't fool yourself that you can
change someone or that what you see as faults aren't really that
important.
Do you bring out the best in each other?
Do you compliment and compromise with each other, or do you compete,
compare and control?
What do you bring to the relationship?
Do you bring past relationships, past hurt, past mistrust, past pain?
You can't take someone to the altar to alter them. You can't make
someone love you or make someone stay.
If you develop selfâ€'esteem, spiritual discernment, and 'a life'; you
won't find yourself making someone else responsible for your happiness
or responsible for your pain. Seeking status, sex, and security are the
wrong reasons to be in a relationship.
WHAT KEEPS A RELATIONSHIP STRONG IS:
1. TRUST
2. COMMUNICATION
3. INTIMACY
4. A SENSE OF HUMOR
5. SHARING TASKS
6. DAILY EXCHANGES (meal, shared activity, hug, call, touch, notes,etc.)
7. SHARING COMMON GOALS AND INTERESTS
8. GIVING EACH OTHER SPACE TO GROW WITHOUT FEELING INSECURE
9.GIVING EACH OTHER A SENSE OF BELONGING AND ASSURANCES OF COMMITMENT
10. CONCERN AND CARE FOR YOUR LOVER IN YOUR OWN WAYS.
If these qualities are missing, the relationship will erode as
resentment withdrawal, abuse, neglect, and dishonesty; and pain will
replace. "
Read it at: http://www.facebook.com/note.php?note_id=139166356083&ref=mf
Tuesday, August 18, 2009
Thursday, August 13, 2009
Tuesday, August 4, 2009
Need For Speed!?
I think speeding is mostly a guy thing, so please watch this, & THINK!!!
Drive Safe!!! Think of Your Loved Ones...
Wednesday, July 29, 2009
Tuesday, July 21, 2009
How TIME Goes By...
This is an AD by Olympus....Creative eh?
How times have changed over the years....
How times have changed over the years....
Monday, July 20, 2009
Thursday, July 16, 2009
Are we really a L.O.S.T Generation?
Will YOU stand up, and prove that we CAN reverse the cycle?!
Let's not be lost, but 'Found'; Found be the ONE who loves us....
Wednesday, July 15, 2009
Michael Jackson's Changing Face
There's nothing predictable except CHANGE?
Hmm...Maybe a lil bit TOO MUCH Change?
~Michael Jackson 1958-2009~
Hmm...Maybe a lil bit TOO MUCH Change?
~Michael Jackson 1958-2009~
Effects of Evian
Click HERE
When I'm gonna have kids, I'm gonna make sure I drink Evian (IF this is realy true) hahahahaha....
Put a CORK in it!!
This is what they can see thru thermal imaging cameras, so beware wat u excrete!!
P.S. Did u notice he 'forced' it out de 2nd time round?
Tuesday, July 7, 2009
Monday, July 6, 2009
God's Chisel
When God chisels the dead weight out of our lives it can be very painful. In one of their most requested skits, Tommy and Eddie give a very creative look at a typical believer having to go through the process of discipline.
Do YOU Believe you are God's Masterpiece?
Do YOU Believe you are God's Masterpiece?
Wednesday, July 1, 2009
Add LIFE to your years, not YEARS to your life
This is a vid abt a Professor who gave a speech in the last few moments of his life....he passed away a few mths afterward...
What have you decided? Add Years to Your life? OR Add LIFE to your years?
What have you decided? Add Years to Your life? OR Add LIFE to your years?
Tuesday, June 30, 2009
Quotes on marriage..
Here's some wisdom from those who have gone thru it...
A wise woman will always let her husband have her way.
- Richard Brinsley Sheridan
The calmest husbands make the stormiest wives.
- Isaac Disraeli
The only thing that holds a marriage together is the husband being big enough to step back and see where the wife was wrong.
- Archie Bunker
There is nothing like living together for blinding people to each other.
- Ivy Compton-Burnett
There is so little difference between husbands you might as well keep the first.
- Adela Rogers St. John
When a man opens the car door for his wife, it's either a new car or a new wife.
- Prince Philip
You can bear your own faults, and why not a fault in your wife?
- Benjamin Franklin
Whoso findeth a wife findeth a good thing.
- Bible
Marriage is our last, best chance to grow up.
- Joseph Barth
As a general thing, people marry most happily with their own kind. The trouble lies in the fact that people usually marry at an age when they do not really know what their own kind is.
- Robertson Davies
Often the difference between a successful marriage and a mediocre one consists of leaving about three or four things a day unsaid.
- Harlan Miller
Nothing flatters a man as much as the happiness of his wife; he is always proud of himself as the source of it.
- Samuel Johnson
Pains do not hold a marriage together. It is threads, hundreds of tiny threads which sew people together through the years. That's what makes a marriage last - more than passion or even sex.
- Simone Signoret
Marriage: a job. Happiness or unhappiness has nothing to do with it.
- Kathleen Norris
A man and a woman marry because both of them don't know what to do with themselves.
- Anton Chekhov
Marriage is one long conversation checkered by disputes.
- Robert Louis Stevenson
Husband and wife come to look alike at last.
- Oliver Wendell Holmes
The young man who wants to marry happily should pick out a good mother and marry one of her daughters - any one will do.
- J. Ogden Armour
Only two things are necessary to keep one's wife happy. One is to let her think she is having her own way, and the other, to let her have it.
- Lyndon B. Johnson
No labourer in the world is expected to work for room, board, and love -except the housewife.
- Letty Cottin Pogrebin
A husband always prefers his wife's mother-in-law to his own.
- Anonymous
Married couples who love each other tell each other a thousand things without talking.
- Chinese proverb
Let there be spaces in your togetherness.
- Kahlil Gibran
Any marriage, happy or unhappy, is infinitely more interesting and significant than any romance, however passionate.
- W. H. Auden
Marriage is a great institution, and no family should be without it.
- Channing Pollock
Any married man should forget his mistakes - no use two people remembering the same thing.
- Duane Dewel
Marriage is three parts love and seven parts forgiveness of sins.
- Langdon Mitchell
One of the best hearing aids a man can have is an attentive wife.
- Groucho Marx
A good husband should always bore his wife.
- Fred Jacob
Marriage is a romance in which the hero dies in the first chapter.
- Anonymous
It is better for a woman to marry a man who loves her than a man she loves.
- Arab proverb
A woman must be a genius to create a good husband.
- Honore de Balzac
A deaf husband and a blind wife are always a happy couple.
- Danish proverb
There is a French saying: "Love is the dawn of marriage, and marriage is the sunset of love."
- De Finod
Where there's marriage without love, there will be love without marriage.
- Benjamin Franklin
Keep thy eyes wide open before marriage; and half shut afterward.
- Thomas Fuller
Matrimony, - the high sea for which no compass has yet been invented.
- Heinrich Heine
Heaven will be no heaven to me if I do not meet my wife there.
- Andrew Jackson
The woman cries before the wedding; the man afterward.
- Polish proverb
Marriage is the one subject on which all women agree and all men disagree.
- Oscar Wilde
A wise woman will always let her husband have her way.
- Richard Brinsley Sheridan
The calmest husbands make the stormiest wives.
- Isaac Disraeli
The only thing that holds a marriage together is the husband being big enough to step back and see where the wife was wrong.
- Archie Bunker
There is nothing like living together for blinding people to each other.
- Ivy Compton-Burnett
There is so little difference between husbands you might as well keep the first.
- Adela Rogers St. John
When a man opens the car door for his wife, it's either a new car or a new wife.
- Prince Philip
You can bear your own faults, and why not a fault in your wife?
- Benjamin Franklin
Whoso findeth a wife findeth a good thing.
- Bible
Marriage is our last, best chance to grow up.
- Joseph Barth
As a general thing, people marry most happily with their own kind. The trouble lies in the fact that people usually marry at an age when they do not really know what their own kind is.
- Robertson Davies
Often the difference between a successful marriage and a mediocre one consists of leaving about three or four things a day unsaid.
- Harlan Miller
Nothing flatters a man as much as the happiness of his wife; he is always proud of himself as the source of it.
- Samuel Johnson
Pains do not hold a marriage together. It is threads, hundreds of tiny threads which sew people together through the years. That's what makes a marriage last - more than passion or even sex.
- Simone Signoret
Marriage: a job. Happiness or unhappiness has nothing to do with it.
- Kathleen Norris
A man and a woman marry because both of them don't know what to do with themselves.
- Anton Chekhov
Marriage is one long conversation checkered by disputes.
- Robert Louis Stevenson
Husband and wife come to look alike at last.
- Oliver Wendell Holmes
The young man who wants to marry happily should pick out a good mother and marry one of her daughters - any one will do.
- J. Ogden Armour
Only two things are necessary to keep one's wife happy. One is to let her think she is having her own way, and the other, to let her have it.
- Lyndon B. Johnson
No labourer in the world is expected to work for room, board, and love -except the housewife.
- Letty Cottin Pogrebin
A husband always prefers his wife's mother-in-law to his own.
- Anonymous
Married couples who love each other tell each other a thousand things without talking.
- Chinese proverb
Let there be spaces in your togetherness.
- Kahlil Gibran
Any marriage, happy or unhappy, is infinitely more interesting and significant than any romance, however passionate.
- W. H. Auden
Marriage is a great institution, and no family should be without it.
- Channing Pollock
Any married man should forget his mistakes - no use two people remembering the same thing.
- Duane Dewel
Marriage is three parts love and seven parts forgiveness of sins.
- Langdon Mitchell
One of the best hearing aids a man can have is an attentive wife.
- Groucho Marx
A good husband should always bore his wife.
- Fred Jacob
Marriage is a romance in which the hero dies in the first chapter.
- Anonymous
It is better for a woman to marry a man who loves her than a man she loves.
- Arab proverb
A woman must be a genius to create a good husband.
- Honore de Balzac
A deaf husband and a blind wife are always a happy couple.
- Danish proverb
There is a French saying: "Love is the dawn of marriage, and marriage is the sunset of love."
- De Finod
Where there's marriage without love, there will be love without marriage.
- Benjamin Franklin
Keep thy eyes wide open before marriage; and half shut afterward.
- Thomas Fuller
Matrimony, - the high sea for which no compass has yet been invented.
- Heinrich Heine
Heaven will be no heaven to me if I do not meet my wife there.
- Andrew Jackson
The woman cries before the wedding; the man afterward.
- Polish proverb
Marriage is the one subject on which all women agree and all men disagree.
- Oscar Wilde
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